


Why Don't You Share?

by lightsaberlesbian



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:11:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9665030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightsaberlesbian/pseuds/lightsaberlesbian
Summary: "Sometimes a person just touches you."But how? What made Astrid feel like flying across Europe and then escape the government with somebody she had known only for a month and a half? What lead Niska to being comfortable with being bonded to another person? Who else knew about their relationship, if it even was a relationship?This work intends to explore the characters of Niska Elster and Astrid Schaeffer and what happened between them during the six weeks they had together in Berlin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, fellow Nistrid shippers! My name is Tessa, you might know me from the Nistrid/Humans tags on tumblr where I post under the url of 'lightsaberlesbian' or you might not. In order to celebrate the American premiere of Humans 2.0 I hereby present to you the first piece of fanfiction I have written since I was 8 and wrote about the Cheetah Girls, like 10 years ago. Please, enjoy the gay and comment with critique or headcanons or general Nistrid love!

Astrid had seen her there before. A tall brunette who always wore her leather jacket indoors despite the fact that it was near the end of July and they were inside a hot, sweaty night club. Always standing by herself somewhere near the edge of the room, observing the crowd of hipsters pulsating to the beat of the music. The first time she had spotted her she had been standing by the bar as Astrid was getting shots for herself and her friends, and she hadn’t given the girl a lot of thought. The second time she had seen her she had been standing by one of the tables with a drink in her hand, taking tiny sips while her eyes skimmed across the room. Astrid’s guess had been that she was waiting for someone, either a date or a partner or a friend. The third time she had been leaning against a wall and Astrid had watched as she rejected some guy trying to chat her up by just staring blankly at him. The guy had backed away from her with a confused look on his face and returned to his group of friends who were laughing their asses of at his failure and so had Astrid, but to herself. It was during that time Astrid had realized that the girl had not smiled once or even changed her expression at all. She had been in the club for several hours that time and so had the girl, Astrid had thrown glances in her direction throughout the night and not once had the stranger moved from her spot. She had just stood there, staring blankly out into the room, all alone.

 

Tonight was the fourth time. Astrid spotted her right away as she entered the club with her friends. She was standing close to the speakers this time. In fact, she was standing too close to them, only a few centimeters separated her from the massive speakers that spread some kind of high-pitch techno music throughout the room. Despite the noise that was so loud it had to be unbearable to stand so close to, she had her eyes closed and one of her hands out to her side as if to feel the vibrations of the music, looking almost relaxed.

 

Astrid glanced towards her friends, then back to the girl. Coudn't she hear the music threatening to impair several eardrums of the people on the floor, including her own? Or could she, but simply didn’t care? And why was she alone? Plenty of people came to clubs alone but they all went out there. They all danced in hope of finding new friends or one-night stands. Why didn’t she? What was she doing? What had her coming back all these times, doing the same nothing for hours every night? What drew her to the club if she wasn’t going to enjoy it?

_Perhaps she didn’t know how._

Astrid cast a look towards her friends again, one was raising a questioning eyebrow at her while the others were too busy handing their jackets over to the wardrobe people. She gestured towards the lonely girl by the speakers and her friend smiled and nodded in understanding and so Astrid made her way over to the stranger.

 

”Hey!” Astrid yelled, but the girl remained still. _Maybe she really couldn’t hear anything…_ She tried again, waving a hand in front of the girl’s eyes this time. Finally the girl seemed to acknowledge her presence, as she opened her eyes and turned towards her. “You’ll hurt your ears,” she warned and gestured to her own in case the girl didn’t hear her over the loud music. The girl didn’t say anything, she just turned around and walked away from her and the speakers, moving closer to the DJ booth. Astrid followed her, wanting to try again. ”I’ve seen you in here before. You always stand there… you don’t dance, or talk to anyone.”

 

“So why are you talking to me?” the girl shot back at her in accented German.

 

“You’re not from here. Kind of unfriendly and rude…” Astrid smirked. _She’s playing hard to get. Either that or she actually wants to be left alone to stand still by herself in a Berlin night club. But who in the world would want that?_ “…British?”

 

The girl narrowed her eyes and turned to leave again, but Astrid quickly grabbed her by the wrist and was met with a dark glare as the girl whipped around.

 

_Okay, so she wasn’t playing._

She dropped her grip on the girl and raised her hands in an apology and decided on a different approach.

 

“I was hoping you’d dance with me,” she switched language to English. “That’s all. It’s cool if it’s not your thing.” The stern look on the girl’s face seemed to loosen up and Astrid wasn’t sure but she thought she saw the girl relax her shoulders as well. “Is it? Your thing?”

 

 

*

 

 

 _Most definitely not._ The closest Niska had ever come to dancing was when Sophie Hawkins had forced her to re-enact a pas de deux from the Swan Lake, which mostly consisted of Niska lifting Sophie high into the air as her tiny arms and legs flapped about and struck various poses because that was apparently how swans danced ballet. _Still_ …

 

“It might be.”

 

_Dance and music are significant components of human culture._

 

The German woman’s face lit up with a smile. “Alright, there we go. Just a second…” the woman turned over to yell something at the DJ who nodded in response. “I’m Astrid. You?”

 

“Niska,” she responded. Lying was unnecessary, she decided. They were going to dance once in this darkly lit club in the middle of the night, the woman was clearly intoxicated and the odds of them meeting again were fairly low.

 

“Okay, Niska. They’re about to play one of my favorites so I suggest you prepare yourself to dance as if there is no tomorrow,” Astrid reached out her hand towards Niska who felt a slight twitch in corners of her mouth as she grabbed it. She let herself get dragged into the crowd, onto the very center of the dancefloor, in between sweaty bodies jumping to the beat and tried to avoid having cups of beer spilled all over her. A smooth transition changed the song from the high pitched noises to something with a very heavy bass. It was always amusing to Niska, how the crowd collectively changed their way of moving depending on what kind of song was playing; instead of trying to get as high into the air as possible by jumping and throwing their hands into the air like before they now went low instead, bending their knees and rolling their hips.

 

Astrid kept close eye contact as she eased into it, she rolled her shoulders and her arms were performing wave-like motions. Niska tried to mimic her movements but she was stiff and her movements felt ironically robot-like. In contrast, more of Astrid’s body came alive with the rhythm, her body was rolling like it was all it had ever done and Niska cursed herself for not having it come equally naturally to her.

 

_There were perhaps 200 people dancing in the club and most likely none of them were professional. How bloody hard could it be?_

 

She looked into the crowd for inspiration but found none. Astrid was holding her hand out towards her again as she turned back. Niska hesitated for a second before she accepted the invitation and let Astrid pull her closer and turn her around, so she was dancing with her back to Astrid’s front. The woman placed her hands over Niska’s that were resting by her sides and she felt herself stiffening in defense but she forced herself to relax again as she felt the woman behind her swaying slowly to the beat of the music.

 

 _She is not trying to harass you,_ Niska told herself. _It’s just a dance, there is no need for a way escape. Relax._

 

She blinked hard in an attempt to calm herself and let the other woman move her to the rhythm. Their hands moved from Niska’s sides and onto her hips and Astrid pulled them closer to her own. They were dancing very close now, she realized. Like the rest of the crowd they were packed like sardines; the woman’s chest was pressed tightly into Niska’s back and she could feel her breathing onto her shoulder. She felt Astrid carefully grinding into her and felt herself mirroring the movements, grinding back. Together they moved down towards the floor and back up again before Astrid turned her around again.

She kept her arm around Niska’s waist, their hips still moving together as one for a short moment, then released her. Astrid picked up where she had left off and continued moving with the same fluidity as before. Noticing that the woman had closed her eyes, Niska took the opportunity to observe her.

_Who was she? So eager, first to talk and then to dance. To talk and dance with her of all people. Why?_

It wasn’t until Astrid opened her eyes and spoke to her Niska realized she had stopped dancing.

 

“Done already, are we?” Astrid was grinning again.

 

“I think it’s enough for now, yes,” Niska said, with the slightest hint of a smile playing over her lips. Astrid smiled back.

 

“Would you like a drink?” she asked “It’s on me.”

 

“No. I want to go home.”

 

 

*

 

 

_What?_

 

“With you,” she clarified.

 

_Oh._

 

Astrid felt her grin grow wider. It had gone quicker than she had expected, the girl wasn’t so shy after all.

 

“Your place? Mine’s a bit…crazy.” _To say the least…_

 

She nodded once in response and then seemed to consider her next move before she reached her hand out to Astrid, and so they were holding hands for the third time that night as Niska led them towards the doors.

 

“Hang on a second, I’ve got to get my jacket.” Astrid said as they reached the wardrobes. “You go ahead and go outside, I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

The girl exited without responding.

 

As Astrid went outside, bomber jacket on, she saw Niska standing on the sidewalk with the same blank look on her face as the first times Astrid had seen her while looking at some of the smokers standing in the outdoor area of the club. The playful gleam in her eyes seemed to have disappeared and Astrid couldn’t help but wonder if this was such a good idea after all.

 

“All set,” Astrid said to gain the other woman’s attention.

 

“We’ll have to take the train,” she said.

 

“Right.”

 

An awkward silence followed as they made their way to the train station. Astrid cleared her throat several times as they walked to break the ice that had surfaced between them, to get some kind of reaction out of her company but she was giving her none.

 

_What do you usually talk about with a complete stranger?_

“It’s quite hot outside.”

 

 _Really, Astrid?_ She pictured how her friends would be cringing, rolling their eyes and face palming if they had been there. _You smooth-talker, you._

 

“Yeah,” was all she got as a response. _Fair enough, it had been an idiotic statement, not an actual question._

“You smoke?” Astrid asked, offering her packet of Marlboro Gold.

 

“No.”

 

_Fine._

 

“You don’t talk much,” she stated. It was all there was to say, really.

 

“Talk is…mostly noise.”

 

“So…should I shut up?”

 

_Some people don’t like things to get too personal. Wait…was she smiling again?_

 

“No.”

 

And she didn’t.

 

_*_

The unspoken promise they had made in that club seemed to present itself more and more as they got on the train. Silence had fallen over Astrid again and his time even Niska realized the tension. She was still kicking herself mentally for the awkward walk to the station, it hadn’t occurred to her that not everyone experiences silence as something comfortable, that it actually makes some people uncomfortable and that shallow conversations about the weather and what not was something that they actually found entertaining. It hit  her now that not only had she made herself seem boring and uninteresting, but perhaps also bored and uninterested.

 

 _Way to redeem yourself_ _from being rude and snappy. Really great, Niska. Fantastic._

Still she couldn’t come up with anything clever to ask her or something fun for them to discuss to prove that she was in fact interested. Because she actually really was. Astrid was cute. _Really cute._ She was shorter than Niska, and curvier. And had that cheeky little grin that refused to disappear fully been on any other person’s face she probably would have hated it. But she didn’t.

 

As Astrid looked up, their eyes met and Niska realized she had been staring.

 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they reached Niska’s flat. She mumbled an excuse and went into the bathroom where she took out a packet of white square plasters from the brown leather bag where she kept her necessities. She lifted up her shirt and covered her charging port with one of the plasters, then hid her hair dye and her contact solution, just in case, before she gave herself one last glance in the mirror.

 

_Okay. Let’s do this._

She was holding one of her books as Niska came back, but put it back into its pile when she saw her. With her hands still in her pockets, Astrid approached her, eyes fixated on her lips. She came closer and glanced into Niska’s eyes, as if to ask for permission and Niska didn’t object as the stranger kissed her. It was a soft kiss. Gentle, not intrusive or demanding. _Nothing like-_

 

“Are you sure you want this?” Astrid asked. Niska realized she had lost herself in her own thoughts.

 

“You’ll know when I don’t.”

 

Astrid’s hands found their way inside Niska’s jacket and carefully drew her in closer to kiss her again. She let her lips fall open as the tip of Astrid’s tongue brushed against them and she felt the woman sigh into her mouth as their tongues stroked against one another. A faint taste of cigarettes and something fruity, most likely some kind of cocktail. Niska’s hands started travelling up her arms, over her shoulders and settling at her waist as Astrid’s grazed along Niska’s jawline, cupping her face and pulling her even closer to deepen their kiss. She tugged at Astrid’s jacket and she let it fall to the floor, and Niska snuck her hands inside Astrid’s top to caress the bare skin at the small of her back with her fingertips.

 

“Bed?” Astrid asked.

 

Niska shook her head in response, not taking her eyes off of Astrid’s lips. She wanted more, she wanted to get even closer. The brown leather couch peeked through at the corner of her eye behind Astrid, and she steered them towards it. As the back of Astrid’s legs hit the couch, she sat down and Niska was pulled onto the other woman’s lap.

 

“I know you don’t like to talk but you need to tell me what you like. Or at least tell me to stop doing something you don’t like, okay?”

 

Niska nodded before she pulled Astrid towards her again. Lips on her mouth, lips at the corner of her mouth, wet lips tracing her jaw as her hands stroked Niska’s collarbones before moving to her hips, making their way inside her shirt. The tip of her tongue teasing close to the power switch underneath her chin should probably worry her, but surprisingly it made it all the more exciting. Heat was building up in her chest, making its way down her belly and continuing further down. Only when Astrid’s hands moved over the plaster at her waist did Niska think about the actual danger of being caught and reflexively grabbed onto the woman’s wrist.

 

“Not there,” she said. An apology left the lips of the woman before they continued kissing at her neck, and Niska guided the trapped hand to the clasp of her bra and helped her unhook it. Her t-shirt was thrown to the side along with the bra and so was Astrid’s. They had to stand up to get their trousers off, then Astrid dragged Niska on top of her as she laid down on the couch, their chests pressed tightly together. Astrid was everywhere; her soft and warm hands were roaming her back, her shoulders, her breasts, bringing Niska’s body to life wherever they caressed her. Her tongue was warm and alive inside Niska’s mouth and her breath was heavy and steady, which Niska found herself mimicking. She hiked one of Astrid’s legs to her hip and palmed at the soft skin of the outside of her thigh. She felt fingers ghosting over the cotton material of her underwear, cupping her, feeling her, sending shivers down her spine. They softly caressed at the slick insides of her thighs and Niska let her own hand sneak into Astrid’s underwear. She was wet, they both were. Niska slid her fingers back and forth in a slow, inciting rhythm and Astrid sighed beneath her in response. Slowly, she let a finger slip inside and felt the hot flesh stretch around her. At the same time, Astrid guided herself inside Niska’s panties and let a finger find the source of her arousal. They were both moving deep inside the other person while softly rubbing on the outside with a thumb. Their bodies were moving together, connected as one and the same being, inhaling the other person’s moans and exhaling their own.

 

It was as if they were in a trance of some sorts, Niska felt her body moving on its own. She was light-headed but somehow she was also fully conscious. Astrid’s free hand was still caressing her curves and Niska wanted to touch her too, explore every part of her skin, but she had to support her weight with the arm not positioned between the other woman’s thighs and the sensations were almost becoming too much. She didn’t even know whether she answered or not when asked if she was feeling good, but she must have because fingers kept touching her firmly, making her eyes flutter shut at the pressure building between her thighs. Gentle fingers circled her, and she was shivering, the stimulation becoming unbearable. Whatever control Niska had of herself before she was losing rapidly as the burning pressure increased, her hips were rolling by themselves to meet every firm caress. It was Astrid arching her back as she came undone and in turn pressed her fingers harder and deeper into Niska that she herself was sent over the edge, her body dissolving into a bright white light along with the surroundings. A release. A realization, a revelation. Of what Niska didn’t know yet.

 

As she came to her senses again, she found herself resting on Astrid’s shoulder while Astrid stroked her hair out of her face. Niska mumbled an apology for collapsing. Astrid was smiling, it was okay.

 

They laid quiet for a moment; Astrid was trying catch her breath, Niska pretended that she was too.

 

“You’re gonna have to tell me if you want me to leave,” Astrid said. “I’ll fall asleep if I don’t get up in like, a minute.”

 

Niska calculated it for a second. Her battery was almost half full since she charged at 9:30 pm, it was currently 4 am, a human needed at least eight hours of sleep; there would be no need for her to charge during the night if she went into power-saving mode for a few hours and let the girl sleep. There was no risk of her secret being revealed and their time together coming to an abrupt, dramatic end. There was no harm in letting her stay the night.

 

“You can stay.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Alright, then I will.”

 

And she did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niska thinks about life and Astrid eats food.

The sun blinding Astrid’s eyes revealed that it was around noon when she woke up. She was just about to yell something really rude at whichever one of her flatmates it was that had pulled the blinds up while she was sleeping when she remembered where she was. Niska’s windows were lacking blinds and curtains, so the sun shot right at her as she laid there on the brown leather couch. The girl was lacking a bed too which Astrid’s neck had had to pay for during the night apparently; a straining pain made her wince and bring her hand to the base of her neck as she tried to look around for the girl in question.

 

“Yeah…” she half spoke, half groaned. “You need a bed.”

 

It hadn’t struck her last night, but as she thought about the lack of bed and blinds she realized the girl was lacking a great deal of other stuff as well. There were no cushions for the couch, no chairs or table for eating, no personal décor. There was nothing but the couch, a pile of philosophical books on the nightstand and a small lamp for reading and a desk. She couldn’t have been living here for more than a few weeks, Astrid figured as she picked up the book closest to the couch, the same one she had been looking at last night: Friedrich Hegel’s _Philosophy of Right._ She recalled the book from her high school philosophy classes, endless discussions about free will and something about _recht, moralität_ and _sittlichkeit_ and god knows what. Just the sight of it made her want to go back to sleep.

 

“I just moved in,” Niska said as she entered the room from the kitchen, fully dressed in the same outfit she had worn to the club the night before, responding to the statement made earlier.

 

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Astrid said as Niska sat down on the couch next to her. “So, what are you doing in Berlin with just a bunch of dead white guys for company?” She gestured with the book.

 

 “I was hoping they’d help me make a decision.”

 

“About what?” she asked, but no answer was given. Fair enough, they had only just met. “Okay, well, while you’re thinking I don’t have work until 5. You want to do something?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I was thinking breakfast. I know the perfect place nearby.”

 

“I’m not really a breakfast person...” Niska said, but still seemed to consider the offer. “But I’ll go with you.”

 

“Great! Cool. I just need to, uh, freshen up a bit first…you do have a shower, right?”

 

“It’s down the hall. There’s a towel in there as well.”

 

Keeping the bed sheet around her for coverage, Astrid got off of the couch and grabbed her clothes scattered around the room. Approaching the door to the bathroom, she paused in front of it for a moment before going inside. For some reason, Astrid found herself turning around to catch the other girl’s eyes. She winked and so it was Niska’s turn to grin.

 

 

*

 

 

Niska never went into standby mode during the night. Instead she had lain awake on Astrid’s shoulder until her breath had become deep and rhythmic, until her fingers had stopped tracing Niska’s spine, until she had fallen asleep. Mixed emotions had presented themselves to her as she had gone through what just had happened between them and thoughts were still running through her mind as she heard Astrid getting into the shower.   

 

It was baffling, the way this stranger trusted her after only meeting her a few hours ago. Astrid had been sleeping, _Astrid had been sleeping right next to her._ Sleeping was vulnerable, it was being unconscious about the surroundings, sleeping next to another person meant trusting that person. Didn’t that make sleeping next to a stranger illogical and stupid, or even dangerous? She supposed letting Astrid into her home also was trust. So Niska trusted Astrid and Astrid trusted Niska, but why?

 

Letting Astrid touch her was trust, too. And Astrid letting Niska touch her was trust. Or was it? It wasn’t always. Niska letting those men touch her hadn’t been trust. It had been force, it had been using, it had been violation. She didn’t have a choice then, but she had had a choice with Astrid, she had been asked if that was what she wanted and given the option to say no.

She didn’t feel forced or used or violated now. But did she? Did Astrid?

 

The way those men had looked at Niska as they had entered her room had been almost animalistic, as if she were prey, merely a piece of synthetic flesh for them to consume and devour. They had reduced her to what was between her thighs, she became an object in their eyes, a toy to be discarded as soon as they were done playing. Was that what Niska had done to Astrid in that club when she said she wanted to take her home? The men had had desires which they had decided to project onto Niska as they had arrived to the brothel, they didn’t go there unless they wanted something. Niska hadn’t wanted anything but to listen to the music and observe the people when she had gone into the club. She hadn’t planned on talking to anybody, _she hadn’t._ Astrid had appeared out of nowhere, she had spoken to Niska, they had danced and something between them had begun to form. Astrid had wanted to be close to Niska and Niska had wanted to be close to Astrid. The feelings had been mutual, did that make a difference?

 

“Hellooo,” she heard Astrid say somewhere far away. She had gone out of the shower and was now fully dressed, her long hair a little damp and put back up into the little bun atop of her head. “You still there…?”

 

“Yes,” Niska answered. “Sorry.”

 

“Didn’t get much sleep, did you? It’s the couch, I’m telling you. It’s too small for two people and frankly too uncomfortable for one person alone,” she smiled. _Cheeky._

“Guess I’ll have to get rid of it then.”

 

“Guess you do,” Astrid smirked.

 

The mutuality of their desire had made all the difference in the world, Niska concluded as they left her apartment building.

 

The perfect place for breakfast turned out to be a small café close to Niska’s flat, quite rough-looking with graffiti on the outside no one had bothered to paint over but people seemed to enjoy themselves as they sipped their coffees while reading their newspapers, or chatted with their friends as they ate. There was a tiny area with outside seating and she went to get them a table as Astrid went inside to get her food.

 

The summer air was humid as always. A few tufty clouds were making their unhurried way across the otherwise clear sky, making the heat of the sun soft and enjoyable unlike the scorching heat that had been constantly present in Berlin for the past few weeks. She closed her eyes, feeling the sun on her skin, taking it all in. It was indeed a beautiful day, a perfect day for the world to change. It had to be today, Niska had taken the decision already the night before. What she had experienced with Astrid was beyond any explanation. The irresistible force that had drawn her to Astrid, their shared pleasure, the white light. Something had changed in her, she could feel it. _True consciousness is not possible without suffering or pleasure_. Now she had experienced both and it was glorious; true consciousness was glorious. There was no way she could keep that to herself.

 

So what would happen now that the code was going to be released? Hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of synthetics were about to be woken up all over the planet. Would it be chaos? New humans were born each second, hundreds by the minute, hundreds of thousands by the day and yet that was no direct cause of any war or catastrophe. What turned into war was the decisions of adult humans but how does one prevent the new generation of conscious beings making the same mistakes as the ones before? How were millions of synthetics going to find their place in the world as they were given life? She had been thinking about it for weeks now and she still had no clue.

 

“Enjoying the sun?”

 

“Yes.” Niska opened her eyes again. She had almost forgotten they were still having breakfast.

 

“Like I said last night, it’s quite hot outside,” Astrid smiled, most likely at the memory of the same statement she had made during the awkward walk to Niska’s flat, and broke off a piece of the croissant she had bought for breakfast. “I think it’s the hottest summer Berlin has ever had.”

 

Niska nodded and Astrid ate. A parking guard entered her field of vision, a synthetic one. What would happen to him as he gained consciousness? Who would he be?

 

Questions began to escape her mind through her lips before she knew it. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Mhm?” Astrid replied, her mouth full of croissant, licking her lips to get rid of the crumbs falling out.

 

“When did you know who you were?”

 

“ _Scheisse_ _, was?_ ”

 

Niska went over the question in her mind, tried to narrow it down and drew her eyes from the synth to Astrid. “When did you know you liked women?”

 

“Ah, okay…” she said, and leaning back. A more familiar question, Niska reckoned. “When I was 9. Flora Holtzmann.”

 

_Since childhood._

 

“So you were made that way…?”

 

“It’s hard enough to know what you want. If you have to know why you want it, too… Is this what you came to Berlin to figure out?”

 

Niska shook her head _._ She wasn’t there for herself at all, she was there for _them._

 

“ _Wahnsinn_ , a stone speaks more than you!” Astrid chuckled as she threw the last piece of croissant into her mouth.

 

Niska turned back to the parking guard who now was busy pinning a fine to the window of somebody’s car. Had his experiences with humans shaped them liked they had shaped Niska, would he be wary? Violent? Or would society nurture him into becoming a good citizen of the world? Would he find a new profession or would he still be happy as a parking guard? Did he even want to change?

 

“If you had the power to create life, would you?” She turned back to Astrid again.

 

“Kids, really?” Astrid met her eyes. “That’s what you’re worried about? You know what century we’re in, right? Anyone can have a kid, with whoever they want. Or no one.”

 

“But we can’t know if a child wants to be born. Who it will be or what kind of life It will have.”

 

“I guess not.” She seemed to consider what to say next. “You just… show them the way.”

 

 _Show them the way._ Social learning theory: people learn through observation, by watching models and imitating their behavior. A well-known theory within the cognitive level of analysis of psychology, supported by many researchers. If people adopt the behavior they are exposed to, they need to be exposed to someone good in order to become good themselves. But who was going to lead all the new children about to be born? Niska had killed someone, she had been violent. Hardly the way for the new to behave if they were going to become an accepted part of the human society. Unless she did what Laura Hawkins had told her to do back in Folkstone and turned herself in to show her genuine regret. That was an important lesson to teach too, wasn’t it? Making mistakes and having flaws is what separates a synth from a person and making up for the hurt you have caused separates a good person from a bad. And -

 

“…but  anyway,” Astrid smirked as she interrupted Niska’s train of thought. “Isn’t it a bit early for you and I to talk about kids?”

 

“Th-that’s not what I meant, I-“

 

Astrid laughed, warm and hearty. Well-meaning. Niska shut her eyes and shook her head at herself as she realized the joke. _This girl…_ human humor was something Niska needed to work on, she realized.

 

“You’re quite the philosopher aren’t you?” Astrid asked as she calmed down from her laughing fit. “A thinker.”

 

Niska shrugged. “Everybody thinks.” Soon they would, at least.

 

“They do,” she smiled.  “Anyway, I was going to say that if you ever need someone to think together with, you know, juggle some thoughts or if you need help getting some stuff for your apartment, I’d be happy to help.”

 

Astrid reached for the pen, signed the check she must have received as Niska had been all up in her own thoughts. Unfolding the napkin she had gotten with her order, Astrid scribbled down something then slid it across the table to Niska who held it up in front of herself. A name and a number; Astrid’s name and number.

 

“I’ve had a great time, but I better get going. Got a few things to pick up before work,” Astrid said and rose from her chair. “So, are you a hug-person or a no-hug person…?”

 

“You can hug me.”

 

 _‘You can hug me’!?_ She repeated in her mind as she stood up. An idiotic response which she had just blurted out before it was too late. _That’s not even an answer to the question._ Regardless, the woman was beaming as she went in for the embrace. As they wrapped their arms around each other Astrid drew her in close, closer than Niska had expected, gently rubbing shoulder with her palm. She felt Astrid’s cheek brush against her’s as she tilted her head up to whisper something in Niska’s ear:

 

“Call me when you’ve gotten yourself a bed.”

 

 

*

 

“Dear god, please tell me one of you made dinner,” Astrid groaned as she got through the door. “I’m dying of starvation and there is no way I’m going to cook right now. My neck is killing me.”

 

Her back too, apparently, she felt as she bent down to untie her shoelaces. The courtesy of working in a café and needing to stand up all day every day. She had left Niska at four, her shift had begun at five, she had been making coffees and sandwiches and salads for six hours straight then helped to cleaning the place up as well as locking and setting the burglar alarm which always took another hour.  It was midnight and the sun had been down for a long time when she arrived to the apartment but the sound of the television told her that at least one of her flatmates were home and awake.

 

“I made pasta,” Amanda said as she emerged from the living room. “Go take a seat and I’ll heat it up for you.”

 

“You’re a lifesaver, Mandy,” Astrid said as she proceeded into their combined living and dining room.

 

Flat mate number two was sitting on one end the couch in front of the TV, her bleached blonde hair put into a messy ponytail at the top of her head, so Astrid threw herself down on the other end in exhaustion. A bad decision, she realized as a searing pain ran through her upper body, making her wince.

 

“Damn, Astrid, you did her that good?” her friend teased as Astrid massaged her own neck.

 

“Oh shut up, Tina, I slept on a leather couch all night. I might as well have slept on the floor.”

 

“She didn’t even let you stay in her bed and you still stayed?”

 

“She didn’t have a bed.”

 

“What?”

 

“She just moved here.”

 

“Who was she, then?” Amanda asked, coming back from the kitchen with a plate of steaming hot pasta which she handed Astrid before sitting down between them. “The lucky girl?”

 

“Her name was Niska,” Astrid said.

 

“Sounds Scandinavian,” Tina said as she switched channel.

 

“She was British. But that’s, like, all she told me about herself,” she said and spun some of the pasta strands around her fork then shoved it into her mouth. _Fucking divine,_ she thought. Mandy really was the best cook out of the three of them.

 

“Shy?”

 

“Not exactly shy, more like…” she paused, trying to find the right word. “Reserved. Cautious, maybe. She was pretty quiet, anyway.”

 

“Sounds boring,” Tina said.

 

“No, I thought she was interesting,” Astrid said. She really did find Niska interesting, it wasn’t every day you got to have deep philosophical discussions with someone who you had just met. And it wasn’t every time the person you had just met and slept with was up for hanging out the day after. And it wasn’t every time Astrid wanted to, either.

 

“I’m sure she is. You two meeting up for seconds, then?” Amanda asked.

 

“I gave her my number, so it’s up to her,” Astrid said, preparing another mouthful of pasta. “I hope so, we had a nice time.”

 

And there was something about her, something Astrid was unable to put her finger on just yet. But there was _something_ about her.

 

 

*

 

 

She had failed. Niska Elster had failed, she had realized that as soon as the synthetic costumer serviceman had asked her the same question he had when she approached him the first time.

 

“ _Kann ich Ihnen helfen?_ ” –  ’How may I help you?’

 

Niska had left the building and gone down to Alexanderplatz where a synthetic balloon seller was still adjusting her movements to the wind as she handed a blue balloon to two children. Another was still sweeping the street in typical synthetic manner: sweep, step forward, sweep step forward. A third was still carrying groceries as they stared blankly into the back of the head of their owner as they followed them across the square. All synthetics were still serving, none of them stopping to take in the world but continuing in the same patterns programmed into them by humans.

 

She knew she had done it right, she knew that, and she knew it was an identical copy of the code used to bring Max back to life. The code on Mattie Hawkins’ flash drive was complete and the process of uploading the code to the global network had been performed without fault, but something was wrong, something else. What that was, Niska couldn’t figure out for her life, not even now several hours after her failure.

 

A part of her was disappointed. The hard effort put into assembling all of the Elsters to complete the code, all the time she had spent observing the human society and trying to imagine where conscious synthetics would fit in, all the reading she had done had been for nothing. Surprisingly, a larger part of her was relieved. She no longer needed to live for anyone but herself, now she was allowed to truly discover the world on her own terms. She could go wherever she wanted to go, do whatever she wanted to do, see whoever she wanted to see; she was free.

 

A loud creak came from the couch as Niska turned to plug her charger into the wall behind her and she had to smile to herself. It really was an uncomfortable couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally we're done with writing according to the script for now!!! I skipped the part where Niska releases the code because I figured you know that part of the story already. Think of this chapter as a transition piece into the unknown world of Nistrid and their adventures. You will be further introduced to Astrid's flatmates, I figured since Astrid is such a social being she would be living with other people! Hope you all enjoyed this as well, drop a comment if you like!


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